Kiss and the movie that couldn’t be mentioned

Kiss - Kiss In Attack Of The Phantoms - Poster (orsonandwelles.co.uk)

Kiss In Attack Of The Phantoms – Poster

He created Kiss to destroy Kiss… and he lost.

Introduction

As announced in the story about the Kiss solo albums I considered doing a separate story on the Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park television broadcast and/or Kiss In Attack Of The Phantoms (the theatrical release a year later). After the articles on the complete and utter movie stinkers Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band and Graffiti Bridge, this article tells the tale of another failed movie adventure.

Kiss - Merchandising 1978 (kissmerchandising.com/pinterest.com/apoplife.nl)

Kiss – Merchandising 1978

1978

As can be read in the stories about Alive II and the Kiss solo albums, 1978 was an important year for Kiss. The band was at their absolute commercial peak in the US. Records were selling by the millions, concerts all sold out in record time and the band was all over (weekly) magazines. There was no escaping Kiss.

However, the end of the golden era announced its arrival soon. The band was everywhere, causing over exposure. The band’s merchandising machine played a huge part in that. It reached its zenith in 1978: Marvel comic books (with real Kiss blood!), a pinball machine, dolls, “Kiss Your Face Makeup” kits, Halloween masks, board games, lunch boxes, cards, bedroom bed sheets and curtains, etc, etc. The official fanclub, the Kiss Army, had more than 100.000 members. Kiss was one of the first bands to take the merchandising business serious, The right to use the name Kiss was firmly controlled by the band and its management, led by Bill Aucoin.

Kiss - Double Platinum - Ad (twitter.com)

Kiss – Double Platinum – Ad

A roadmap for 1978 was laid out, ensuring the mitigation of the danger of waning popularity and the band not falling apart due to increasing disagreements and irritation. And, maybe even more importantly, for the first time in years, the band had some free time to spend, almost three months (with the exception of a 5 day tour of Japan late March/early April 1978). That void was filled with the release of the band’s first compilation, the double album Double Platinum, which was released on April 2, 1978. The album contained a re-recorded version of Strutter, making sure the Kiss Army had ample reason to buy it as well.

On May 11, 1978, the band started filming in order to sell the band members as true ‘super heroes’. Kiss was about to make a movie, which was to be shown in 1978. Following six weeks of filming, the recording sessions for the Kiss solo albums started. Never before had a band released solo albums by all members on the very same day, September 18,1978. On October 28, 1978, the movie Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park was first broadcast on American television by NBC.

Both Double Platinum as the Kiss solo albums were decidedly less commercially successful than the band had originally anticipated. How would the movie fare?

Kiss - Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park - Title still (shebloggedbynight.com)

Kiss – Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park – Title still

Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park

Initially intended as a movie theater release, the movie was quickly degraded to television format. The movie budget (still over $2 million) was relatively small, making the sets, special effects and overall quality (including the actors) look cheap and non-convincing. The movie looked sloppy, the story was rubbish, all actors were terrible, but the real losers were the Kiss band members. The movie had been sold to them as a cross between The Beatles’ A Hard Day’s Night and Star Wars. What they got was a movie looking like a real-life episode of Scooby Doo, made by amateurs from the local community theater ensemble. Maybe all involved should have seen it coming, as the movie was produced by Hanna-Barbera, primarily known for animation like The Flintstones, The Jetsons and, indeed, Scooby Doo.

Kiss - Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park - Script draft March 1978 (reddit.com)

Kiss – Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park – Script draft March 1978

The story

A big part of the movie’s problems stems from its script, which is non-sensical, incomprehensible and just plain stupid. It went through numerous edits, before there was something even remotely resembling a storyline. Ace Frehley:

I should have had some idea what to expect when I got the original script and discovered I didn’t have a single line of dialogue. Not one! Every time my character was supposed to speak, the only thing that would come out of his mouth was the sound of a parrot: “Awk!” That’s exactly what was written on the page. Three capital letters, A-W-K.

Fragment from “No Regrets: A Rock And Roll Memoir” door Ace Frehley

The story takes place at amusement park Magic Mountain. It’s quickly revealed that the real genius behind the park’s attractions, and most particularly behind the robots, Abner Devereaux, is very unhappy that the band Kiss will be performing 3 nights in a row in an attempt to generate extra money for the park. The money is necessary for maintenance on the park’s attractions. Meanwhile Melissa is worried, she can’t find her boyfriend Sam, assistant to Devereaux.

Also, 3 ‘hooligans’ roam the park terrorizing the guests. Like Sam, they become pawns in Devereaux’s devious plans, by placing electronic devices in their necks. The park’s manager has to fire Devereaux, for his increasing erratic behavior and ignoring the park guests’ safety. Devereaux wants revenge.

Kiss - Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park - Movie stills (apoplife.nl)

Kiss – Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park – Movie stills

That night Kiss play their first show. After the show Devereaux unleashed a robot copy of Gene Simmons unto the park, injuring security guards. The next day the band, sitting on high chairs by the pool (?), is questioned but no action is taken. Melissa asks the band to help her, Devereaux sends Sam to steal the band’s talismans (providing the band with their ‘powers’), but his attempts fail.

After the second show the band plays Beth in the park and goes in search for Devereaux, but walk right into a trap. They are attacked by robotic white monkeys. The band wins, but is ultimately captured , after a second attempt at stealing the talismans proves successful.

The day of the third show the robot Kiss take the stage and play Rip And Destroy (a reworking of Hotter Than Hell), which leads the audience to boo them, only to sing along enthusiastically within seconds. Devereaux’s plan to create chaos seems to work… But, Kiss uses teleportation to get their talismans back. A battle ensues on stage, the real Kiss wins and all ends well. Sam regains control over his mind, Melissa is happy and Devereaux is left behind sitting in a chair seemingly unable to move and do evil ever again…

Kiss - Mountain View - 05/19/1978 (facebook.com/apoplife.nl)

Kiss – Mountain View – 05/19/1978

The Kiss live footage used in the movie, was shot on May 19, 1978, at an actual show the band performed at Mountain View. Over 8,000 people gathered in a parking lot near the Colossus roller-coaster, which was brand new at the time. Tickets were exclusively available through radio station KTNQ FM, with DJ “The Real” Don Steele (who has a cameo in the movie) giving away free tickets while broadcasting his show.

Kiss - Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park - Ad 10/27/1978 (kisstimeline.com)

Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park – Ad 10/27/1978

Reception

The movie was first broadcast on NBC on October 28,1978. The movie was panned by critics and the band was extremely embarrassed and ignored its existence for years. The story goes that everyone who was in the band’s employ wasn’t allowed to even mention the movie’s name… The fans were heavily disappointed as well. It takes almost 30 minutes before the band actually makes their first appearance in the movie. No Kiss music was heard until then either. The acting talent of all members was abominable and, on top of that, Peter Criss’s voice was dubbed.

Kiss - Mountain View - 05/19/1978 - Meeting the press (fanpop.com)

Kiss – Mountain View – 05/19/1978 – Meeting the press

Paul Stanley:

When the movie was finished, we saw it at a screening at the Screen Actors Guild Theater on Sunset Boulevard. If you thought it was bad on a TV screen, you should have seen it on the big screen! People openly laughed. I slunk down in my seat. It was humiliating. The finished film was absolutely awful, and to have to stand when the lights came up while various people who had been involved with it came over to lie to me about how great it was made it that much more humiliating.

Fragment from “Face the music: A life exposed” door Paul Stanley

Actor Anthony Zerbe, who played Abner Devereaux, has actively erased his part in the movie from his past. On his own website, which includes an elaborate television and filmography, every trace of or hint to Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park/Kiss In Attack Of The Phantoms is missing.

Kiss - Kiss In Attack Of The Phantoms - Ad Dutch newspaper Het Parool 10/10/1979 & Movie poster (apoplife.nl/vintagemovieposters.com)

Kiss – Kiss In Attack Of The Phantoms – Ad Dutch newspaper Het Parool 10/10/1979 & Movie poster

Kiss In Attack Of The Phantoms

The movie was reworked for a theatrical release in Europe, titled Kiss In Attack Of The Phantoms. The Dutch premiere was on October 11, 1979. The movie’s story was edited, in order to make the story somewhat more plausible. The movie’s soundtrack was now filled with the band’s music, primarily focusing on the Kiss solo albums. Some copies of the movies even contain the regular music videos for I Was Made For Loving You and Sure Know Something, both coming off the Dynasty album, released on May 23, 1979, randomly placed in the story. But, the movie, even after all the effort in trying to make it better, was still panned and was characterized as a children’s movie.

Kiss - Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park - Shooting the movie May 1978 (comingsoon.net)

Kiss – Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park – Shooting the movie May 1978

Review

Was it really that bad? The short answer? Yes.

The acting, the sets, the special effects, the story, the fight scenes, the so-called special powers, it was all dreadfully ridiculous. All spectators could feel was vicarious shame. Special attention has to be drawn to the stand-ins. No-one even remotely resembles the ‘real’ Kiss characters, but Ace Frehley’s takes the cake. His stand-in was a black stunt man named Alan Oliney, who has some full-on scenes, clearly showing the character is not Ace Frehley at all.

But, there are people who claim they like the film, and even say it’s a required watch for anybody who wants a peek into the (late) 1970s rock scene. For this article I have watched it again and thought it was less embarrassing than Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, but it came really close.

I saw the movie early 1980 when it was shown at local movie theater de Harmonie in Alkmaar, the Netherlands. Unfortunately, I can’t remember what I thought of the movie, but I do know I loved the live footage. I had seen images of Kiss in a live setting before (on Dutch television music show Countdown), but never in color.

Kiss - Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park - Stand-ins/stuntmen & extras (facebook.com)

Kiss – Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park – Stand-ins/stuntmen & extras

The cast

Kiss

  • Ace Frehley – Ace Frehley aka Spaceman
  • Gene Simmons – Gene Simmons aka Demon
  • Paul Stanley – Paul Stanley aka Starchild
  • Peter Criss – Peter Criss aka Catman

Others

  • Anthony Zerbe – Abner Devereaux
  • Carmine Caridi – Calvin Richards
  • Deborah Ryan – Melissa
  • Terry Lester – Sam Farell
  • John Dennis Johnston – Chopper
  • John Lisbon Wood – Slime
  • Lisa Jane Persky – Dirty Dee
  • John Chappell – Sneed
  • Don Steele – Don Steele
  • Brion James – guard
Kiss - Solo albums - Ad (pencilstorm.com)

Kiss – Solo albums – Ad

After Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park

The plan to make Kiss even more popular failed. Double Platinum had just been less successful than hoped for, but the debacle with the Kiss solo albums (also read the story Kiss solo albums: Ace Frehley) and the movie really harmed the band.

The relationship with manager Bill Aucoin received its first blows. The Kiss solo albums convinced both Peter Criss and Ace Frehley that there was a life for them outside of Kiss. The movie clearly showed that the band was anything but a collection of super heroes, but rather a bunch of lost clowns in an amateur play. The band lost the superstar status they still had in the beginning of 1978.

On May 23, 1979, the band returned with new music: Dynasty. Kiss had also fallen victim to the disco craze, which would all but disappear within two months’ time (see the article Disco Demolition Night). With the disco/rock songs I Was Made For Loving You and Sure Know Something Kiss gained real momentum in Europe, but they lost the US. The Return Of Kiss tour didn’t sell out in lots of places and some shows had to be cancelled due to low ticket sales.

By the end of 1979 Peter Criss left the band. Two years later Ace Frehley also left and manager Bill Aucoin was fired. By that time the golden era of Kiss was ancient history. On September 18, 1983, the band appeared without make-up on television. The ‘real’ face of all the original Kiss members were now know to the public.

From 1996 to 2000 the original line-up of Kiss reunited and toured the world with the complete Kiss circus, including bombs, fire and make-up. The band continued with other musicians and finally retired on December 2, 2023, while announcing the band would continue as avatars.

Kiss- Other movies (imdb.com/wikipedia.org)

Kiss- Other movies

Kiss and movies

Kiss would appear in two more movies:

  • Detroit Rock City (1999)
    In 1978 four high school students love Kiss and will do anything to see their heroes play at Detroit’s Cobo Hall. A fun movie, that conveys the way music was all important in the 1970. Kiss plays a part in the movie as they perform the show the 4 students get to witness after all.
  • Scooby-Doo And Kiss: Rock And Roll Mystery (2015)
    The Hanna-Barbera reunion. The subject is basically the same. Kiss (as super heroes), helps the Scooby Doo gang with an issue at an amusement park. Lots of Kiss music, humor (also at the expense of Kiss themselves) and the voices of Kiss (at that time without Ace Frehley and Peter Criss).
Kiss - Mountain View - 05/19/1978 - Ticket (concertticketstub.net)

Kiss – Mountain View – 05/19/1978 – Ticket

In closing

The film has been released on video and can be purchased on DVD as part of the boxset Kissology Volume Two: 1978-1991. It contains the European version (Kiss In Attack Of The Phantoms).

What’s your opinion on the movie? Let me know!

Video
This story contains an accompanying video. Click on the following link to see it: Video: Kiss and the movie that couldn’t be mentioned.

Compliments/remarks? Yes, please!